I beseech you,
Wrest once the law to your authority:
To do a great right,
Do a little wrong.
— Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice IV, 1
To do a great right, do a little wrong, eh? So the end does justify the means, according to that quote. Well, we'll see about that.
The English language can be interpreted in so many different ways. For example, just take the title of this week's rant. At first glance you may think that I'm being chauvinistic by saying that man rules, he lords it over woman, he is in charge, the king, her lord and master, her ruler. Well, some men do happen to think that way and love that role, so I can't blame you if you saw it that way. But what I really mean is, the rules of man, or if you want to be even more specific, the laws that men adhere to, simply to survive with women.
Oh yes, men need rules, for women have always laid down their rules when it comes to relationships. The man must do this, and he must do that, and he must stop doing this and start doing that. That's the way women are and they can't help it as they've been doing so for eons.
Even so, many men secretly admit that what the women insist on is really for their betterment and improvement, and many men are better off because of their women who gave them that necessary push. We cannot forget the old saying that behind every successful man is a woman. The French even have a term for it, the eminence gris, the hidden force behind the force... the silent power. So we shouldn't dismiss it.
But in the same way women have their rules, men need something to hold on to: man rules. We'll see what they are right after these responses.
Hi Tony,
I really look forward to you and Sharon Leach's Sunday writings. After reading your column on being husband- friendly, I must admit that I myself am NOT husband-friendly. I guess it's one of the crippling effects of our 'independence.' Good article, though.
T Peart
Mr Teerob,
I saw what you wrote about what women should do to be husband-friendly. But you failed to mention the fact that most men are not worth being 'friendly' for. Why should I change my personality, alter my character, disguise my true motives and add to the world deception, just to please a man and hope that he marries me?
If a man cannot accept me for who I am and deal with me on my terms, then I guess I will never get a man and will be deemed 'husband unfriendly' according to you.
Getting a man or being married is not the ultimate goal in a woman's life. At least, it should not be. Thank God that I am 'me friendly.'
Arlene
Now, it's a fact of life that women make most of the rules when it comes to this man-woman thing. They dictate what a man can or cannot do, and he'd better like it or lump it. As the warlike Borg said on Star Trek, 'Resistance is futile.' So it's about time that men devised their own rules. After all, women are always telling men what to wear, how to behave, what to eat.
What do men tell women? "Yes dear." At least that's what my good friend from Toronto seems to think, as he told me about the man rules that women should learn to live with. The first one deals with the way men look at women. Why are men never offended when women look at them? Well, get this straight: breasts are for looking at, and that's why men do it, so learn to live with it.
I have always wondered why women would go out of their way to wear the most revealing outfits that show not only their cleavage, but almost all of their ample bosoms. Yet they get offended when men decide to look, stare, ogle, drool, depending on the length of the look. "Disgusting man, looking at my breasts like he's my doctor... he has a nerve... pervert."
So that man rule makes sense, and not only breasts, but other areas as well. Somehow many women take offence when men look at them with lust, even though they spent hours trying to look sexy and desirable. Have you observed how many women dress nowadays, leaving nothing to the imagination, yet if a man looks and admires, they take offence? "Women can look at me all they want, I don't care, so neither should they," says the man who makes the man rule.
The second man rule pertains to Saturdays, the TV, and watching sports. Men love sports, while many women couldn't give a hoot if Barcelona is playing against Real Madrid. In fact, they don't even know what Barcelona or Real Madrid are, except that they are cities in Spain. But men go gaga over sports, and women refuse to accept this fact, especially on a Saturday when most sports are played.
That man rule should apply to every household, and men should be left alone for those precious hours to watch their sports, according to my friend from Toronto. "Listen, today is Saturday, and I am going to spend the whole day watching sports, end of argument."
He also said, "Teerob, I read your article on quality time, and I do try to include her by watching Lifetime with her. But I'll be darned if I watch The Shopping Network or Style TV. I love my sports, but she won't watch it with me on Saturdays... saying something about housework and chores."
"Come honey, let's clean out that closet today." So, according to him, women should be flexible and abide by this man rule. Discuss errands and housework only during commercials or at half-time. Please respect the man's involvement in the game.
But shopping is to women as sports is to men, and the feeling that a man gets from watching his team score the winning goal is a similar thrill that a woman gets from going shopping. Neither gender will understand it, but women tolerate men's passion for sports less, that's why that should be a rule. Sports on Saturday... end of story.
Emotional blackmail is not right, and that's a rule that many men insist on, mainly because most men cannot play that game. Men like to play fair, and emotional blackmail is like hitting below the belt. As soon as the man starts to make a viable point, or insists on doing something that she does not like, the woman starts to cry.
Weeping, shedding of copious tears, wet, moist, rheumy eyes are weapons that women use well, to their advantage, and much to the man's emotional demise. Even wars have rules of engagement, and the Geneva Convention has rules that are applied even in the heat of battle. So that man rule should also be applied, no emotional blackmail, no crying, please; after all, men cannot use that weapon, so why should women?
Another rule is: communicate clearly. Now, any man who has been involved with a woman knows that communication, or the lack of it, is the bane of many relationships, according to my friend. This is because women do not communicate clearly, but deal only with subtle hints and signs. This man rule insists that women do not give hints, but speak their minds.... much like a man.
For centuries men have been complaining that women do not come straight, but speak in parables.
"So what's wrong, honey?"
"Nothing, I guess. I don't know."
"Is it something I said?"
"Not really."
"Something just isn't right... you okay?"
"Maybe."
All now the man cannot get a straight answer. So that rule should state "Just speak your mind, woman."
Men tend to be problem-solvers, think logically and are realistic, pragmatic. Women, on the other hand, often ask men's advice and opinion on certain matters, but only want to hear what they themselves are thinking. Rule number four, men solve problems logically, if you want sympathy, go speak to your girlfriend.
When your woman comes to you and says that her best friend's husband is a lying, cheating wretch, you had better listen and agree with her. But why should you? Why not assert yourself and live by the man rule? Think logically and demand that you hear both sides of the story, then man-up and tell her, "Honey, let's be rational, logical, practical. Let's hear his side of the story." That is the rule of a brave man, and I doubt that many men would dare to implement it, but some may try.
Speaking of problems, my friend says that one critical man rule should be that of having sex on demand. After all, a headache that lasts for 18 months is definitely a problem, so he should insist that his woman go see a specialist. "Every night I want some loving, she have a headache. Almost two years now she have headache," said this man about his wife. That's a good rule for men, I guess, but whether they can implement it is another thing.
In every relationship there will be arguments, discussions, differences of opinion. But women, once again, do not stick to the rules of engagement and argue fair. They have the memory of an elephant and forget nothing. You'll be arguing a point when suddenly she brings up a comment that you made five years ago. That knocks you for a loop, for it's taken out of context. But you DID say it, so she uses it against you. One man rule should state that all comments made over a month ago should be struck from the record.
I must say, it's a brave man who came up with these man rules, but he simply wanted a level playing field as he thought that women have so many rules and regulations regarding men, that men should have their own set of rules, too.
I had to make it painstakingly clear to my wife that these rules were not my own, but I'm merely sharing the suggestions that my friend from Toronto made. That's my disclaimer, and I'm sticking to it.
More time.
seido1@hotmail.com
Footnote: Our environment is precious, and it pains me to see when it's being altered or destroyed. I have watched Kingston Harbour deteriorate as gullies wash garbage down to pollute it. I share the cry of many of our champions of the environment. But even as they speak of our environment, they offer little solutions except the occasional clean-up.
I was surprised to hear one admit on a radio programme that they have no solution to our energy problems, even as they discussed the coal versus oil and other forms of energy problem. They admitted that they had no answer. I was taken aback when I heard that admission.
Coal emits carbon and other toxins into the air, oil is expensive, nuclear power can be dangerous if radiation leaks, solar, wind and hydro are long-term proposals. So what do we do in the present time? They could not say. People need power, we have to drive cars, cook and manufacture. So what is the solution? I wish that the environmentalists would provide viable, practical solutions instead of simply pointing out what's wrong.
Man rules
-->
No comments:
Post a Comment